Have Mercy, My Sin's Ever Before Me

Do you find yourself grieving over your sin at times? I am currently grieving over my indwelling sin... and have sorrow over it. Killing sin is hard. And it leaves me hurt often. But as Paul says in his letter to the Corinthian church, we Christians are to come to godly sorrow: not because God will be mad at us because of our wrongs; but because through our sin we are turning our backs away continuously over the very one that came and live and died for us while we were his enemies. And I share this meditation in this spirit.

I find it comforting at discouraging times like this to meditate on the promises of God as He has spoken in His word, the bible. At this time, I meditate on Psalm 51. This is one among various songs written by David, a king at the time, to God. Yep, this is the same guy who as a younger kid killed Goliath with a few pebbles, that you learned about in Sunday school.

We have to consider the context in which David wrote this song. David writes this sorrowful song after being called out of his sins by another godly guy: in a nutshell, David commits adultery with a woman, and then kills the woman's husband so that he doesn't have to face his sin. (And the way he goes about it is just wrong too.)

In other words, the same dude who killed a giant of an enemy because of God's power, is the same guy who committed adultery and murder, which is against the purity of God. What does this show? That ALL humans are jacked up people: sinners. There is no good person besides the God-man Jesus Christ. All our favorite Bible heroes, but for Jesus, were all bad people.

Now one may ask, where is the hope in David's story for my grief now? In this fact alone: Jesus came and lived on earth the perfect life we should have lived as children of God, and died on a cross the death we should have died, for becoming enemies of God, and rose again, defeating our sin, so now through Jesus and his sacrifice, we can be dressed in the perfection of Jesus - and be loved as if we were perfect like Jesus. What greater love can there be for a guy as jacked up as David, or one even worse - ME?

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me. (Ps 51:1-3)

This is the good news. While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. This is the promise I am absorbing strength and conviction now. God is a god of mercy: he is faithful to forgive if we turn away from our own ways, and seek joy in knowing God. And this I share with you, Christian or not, to keep close to your hearts, so we may know and keep knowing more about the great grace of our good God. That's what this is all about: it's all about Jesus.

Your sin, your guilt, your grief, may be ever before you. Don't leave it there. Let Jesus take it for you. Trust him with it. He's friend, comforter, savior of us jacked up sinners. Don't hesitate.